About four months ago, I took my last road trip with my Christian band. It was a devastating thing—and would have been more so—if it weren’t for the circumstances that surrounded it. Because of a barrage of things that happened in the preceding month, the event came as more of a relief. At that point I was angered, hurt, and rejected; it had been my sexual orientation that brought me to this point of leaving something I loved so dearly. Even though I had come to terms with my sexuality years before, I still felt shame at what others felt toward me once they knew the truth.
Somehow, I realized the profoundness of the moment. I felt distinct affirmation and peace from God as I approached the end of an 11-year era. That weekend, as I prepared for our last concert, I bought a ring to commemorate the event. It seemed fitting: around the circumference of the silver circle, one of my favorite verses was engraved:
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” -Jeremiah 29:11
I’ve always loved that passage, but it rang truer than ever for me that early fall day. I’ve never come closer to hearing an almost audible voice from Abba saying, “You are my child. This is a season of refining for you. Rest in Me as I purify you and prepare you for My work”.
I fear that there are others on this same journey who buy into the lies that we’re told: “You’re not good enough”, “Become straight and then God can use you”, “We can send you to reparative therapy, and that will fix you”… and the list goes on. I hurt for those who believe these untruths. I can empathize… I was there for years. The truly tragic result of this is when we continue to believe we are without worth. God will use you right where you are. This doesn’t mean you have to know everything. It doesn’t mean that you won’t question things. It doesn’t mean your beliefs won’t change.
It just means you won’t be alone.
And if the Creator of the universe is with us, then we have nothing to fear on the path unknown.