Since I started this blog just a little over a year ago, I’ve had the opportunity to meet and converse with some incredible, Godly people. Josha is one of those people. Her transparency and openness are admirable, and her testimony resonates deeply in my spirit.
This post comes from her, as she discusses what it means to live the “gay lifestyle”.
What does it mean to live a homosexual “lifestyle?”
I hear this phrase used so often in a very negative way. I wonder what people think of when they think “homosexual lifestyle?”
If I were to be blessed to meet someone who shared the same dreams and desires as myself, and if we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, this is what it might look like:
We would make decisions together and discus daily topics. We would share meals and entertain company. We would work through problems, together. We would go for hikes in the mountains and take trips to the beach. We would serve others in society, together. We would seek the Lord in all that we do. We would serve in a church family, where we could be in community with others and could grow spiritually, together. We would take care of a home and a yard. We would listen to each other’s stories. We would support one another’s dreams and grieve with one another’s losses. We would take care of each other when one of us is sick. We would enjoy just being, together. I would hold her hand and tell her that I love her, and learn how to express my love to her for a lifetime.
Is this any different from the heterosexual “lifestyle?”
I think that the so-called homosexual “lifestyle” is a misconception. I think people hear “homosexual” and think promiscuity and dirty, sexual acts that have no meaning or purpose other than to self-serve. If I’m not mistaking, I think this also happens among those who are heterosexual.
I look forward to the day when the difference in lifestyle is comparison of committed relationship vs. promiscuity. Those are the lifestyles while sexual orientation is merely a characteristic of each individual.
I know that many Christians consider homosexuality to be a “negative lifestyle” with the argument that it is out of the boundaries that God provides for us in the Bible.
To address this idea, I’d like to share a brief story:
During the winter months we take the teens from church downtown to hand out soup, food packages, and warm clothing to those who live on the street. We have learned to not provide bags, as some people will hoard items, which prevents others from being served; therefore a rule was made to not hand out bags. I abide by this rule strictly because I want everyone to have an opportunity to be served. However, the other night while we were helping people find what they needed one man came up to me with his arms full. He did not speak much English but I finally understood that he was asking, “bag?” I shook my head and said “no bag.” And I’m ashamed to admit that it took a whole 10 seconds for me to recognize that he had a real need for a bag. The man was on two crutches due to one leg being significantly shorter than the other leg. He was having trouble managing the crutches, his food, and his warm clothing. I quickly went to another leader of this ministry and asked that we break the “no bag“ rule for this man. Within 2 min the man had a much-needed bag to carry the much-needed clothing and food that he had received.
Rules are important but there are times that accommodations are necessary. I feel like the man with crutches might have been Jesus, who was teaching me a lesson that night. Sometimes we are blinded by rules and miss opportunities.
From the teachings and stories of the Bible, it is clear that there is wisdom in having a monogamous sexual relationship, but I believe society has set up the rule of one man and one woman. While this rule is good in efforts to promote monogamy and the betterment of society, it still hinders a minority.
There was a time when it was against the law to marry out of your own race. Did this law come from God? Did it come from man? Why was it put in place to begin with? Why have the laws changed and interracial marriages become accepted?
When will society and Religion recognize that a same-sex couple has a genuine, deep love for each other and a need for living as one? How long will it take to make much-needed accommodations? With all the mercy God gives us, why can’t we show mercy on those who have same-sex attraction?
Nobody is asking that we break the Law that Jesus came to fulfill. Nobody is asking to have permission for promiscuity, or for tarring down family values. I think that people who have same-sex attraction are simply asking for the privilege to share in the community, to benefit the community, to support the community, and to be fulfilled in a desire that was set in the hearts of man by God. These are God-honoring dreams that do not break the moral Laws of God that were written in stone.
I believe that God is understanding of accommodations as he recognized our need for accommodations spiritually. God made the greatest accommodation of all, by living among us, and then dying for us, so that we can be in closer relationship to Him.
For me, when I ask myself the question, “Is it wrong for me to dream and hope for a married ‘lifestyle?’” My answer is, “No, unless I let it take the place of God.”
Your answer to this question might be different, however, absolutely welcomed in discussion as we learn and grow from each other.