Double Life

One thing I’ve probably failed at when portraying who I am with our readers, is the fact that I lead a bit of a double life.  I am out to everyone who matters… the most important person being my dad.  I’ll never forget the feeling I had once I told him the truth about myself.  The whole world was lifted up off of my shoulders.  I felt that I could conquer anything.  But there is one part of my life that forces me to hide.  I sing in a Christian group that travels quite frequently, ministering in cities across the country.  Unfortunately, the majority of the churches we visit see homosexuality as an abomination.

This is why I choose to use my first name only on this website.  This is why I must filter my personal Facebook profile.  This is why the people that I meet when we’re out on the road only get to know a fraction of who I am.  Just today, I met a lovely lady in Kansas.  We struck up a conversation about what we did for a living, and who we are.  She is a counselor who helps young children overcome sexual abuse and sexual addiction.  It was fascinating.  I admittedly admire her work, and am in awe of how God can use one of His children.  I wanted to tell her.  I wanted to tell her the truth about me.  But I couldn’t.  I knew what would happen if I did.

There was a speaker there at the conference.  She was speaking to a group of women about how to live as a more effective Christian… a topic, of course, that any Christian loves to hear about.  I was listening attentively, when out of nowhere, she slips in a comment about homosexuality.  She began, “There are several topics that are weakening the current generation of young Christians.  Take homosexuality, for instance.  I’m appalled at how many church-going teens don’t think there’s anything wrong with their peers who claim they are gay or lesbian.”

Hold on.

Back up.

I suppose she believes there is something wrong with those who “claim” to be gay or lesbian.  And notice how she said there were several issues that concern her about our younger generation.  However, homosexuality was the only one she decided to bring up.  Ladies and gentlemen, this is an example of ill-education.  Does she mean well?  Yes.  Is she intelligent?  Absolutely.  (She has a doctorate.) Does she truly believe what she thinks is true?  Of course… but that’s the scary part.  Ever notice that those who adamantly insist that homosexuality is a choice are heterosexual folks?

There were 1,000 attendees at that conference. Statistically speaking, there were at least 20-30 gay, lesbian, bisexual, or questioning people there.  (And that’s the conservative count!)  So how does her teaching come across to them?  I’ll tell you how it came across to me:  What I heard was that gay people don’t count.  It was as if being Christian and gay can never be an option.  What I heard came from a narrow-minded, superior point of view.  Rather than just condemn LGBT’s without question, why not try some understanding?  Some love?  Some compassion?  I heard her talk about how to segregate us from the church community.  But why isn’t reaching out in love an option?  One thing I know for sure… if anyone was gay there, they did one of two things:  They became defensive and totally shut out everything else she was saying, or they vowed to themselves (again) that they were going to try to overcome homosexuality.  I’ve been in both places.  And neither one is beneficial!

The moment we stop treating homosexuality as the cardinal sin of Christianity, is the moment we begin moving forward.

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