As a Christian lesbian, I really get my feathers ruffled when others are so quick to judge. Ignorance runs so rampant in the evangelical, heterosexual world, doesn’t it? And the hurt it brings runs even deeper. From my observations, (growing up in a very rural Kentucky town), whenever someone hears the word, “gay”, their mind immediately turns to gay sex. Never mind monogamy. Never mind love with a spiritual connectedness. Never mind purity. No… let’s talk about what goes on between the sheets of those perverted, psychologically disturbed gays. I find it horribly insulting, to put it mildly. Yet… if there is to be a bridge built between the church and the LGBT community, we must reach out in love. We cannot respond with the same hate and disgrace of which we have been victims. In my opinion, the answer is education. The more people talk about it, the less taboo it will become in our churches. And that would be progress!
If any of you have used GCN (The Gay Christian Network) as a resource, then you’ve probably heard the terms Side A and Side B. Side A Christians believe that same-sex relationships are a-ok in the sight of God. Side B Christians support the theory that being gay is genetic, and something you’re born with… but they consider homosexuality to be a calling to celibacy. This great debate will certainly be the topic of many blogs and podcasts to come, but the real point here is that many heterosexuals don’t even realize there are shades of gray in the gay Christian world.
In my truly humble opinion, I believe that the nature vs. nurture argument is so vital here. To me, it does not matter if a person agrees with every detail in my belief system. Of course, it would be convenient… but that’s just not the reality. However, when it comes to the infamous question: “Is it a choice?”, then I feel there’s lots of room for improvement in the Christian society. If you’re gay, then you’ve muttered this too many times to count: “Why would I choose to be gay when being straight is a much safer, easier choice?”. Not long ago, someone told me, “Well… I definitely DO believe being gay is a choice. It may be an issue you deal with, but I was raised to believe that anything is possible with God.”
Ok. Hit the pause button. That hurt. Telling me that I wasn’t born gay is like telling me that I wasn’t born with blue eyes. I’m staring into the mirror, and into the truth that I’ve known my whole life. And someone is telling me that’s not really who I am. Listen up, religious right… that doesn’t help me. It just makes me feel crazy. And as far as God making things possible… boy, do I know it now more than ever!
Indulge me for a moment here… but this is something I’m passionate about: How many times has God answered your prayer in the exact way that you imagined He would? The point is, God answers prayers. I believe with all that is in me, He answered my prayers to be healed; but His healing came in a different (and much more profound) way. I prayed to become straight. But instead, He opened my heart to accept myself. He loved the person that I had grown to hate. Some see that as the easy road… they think that staying gay and justifying it is less difficult. But take it from me… my journey was anything but easy. However, it was in that dark place that God refined me. He finally made me see that what I’d been so terrified of was actually something quite beautiful. I am embracing my identity in Christ. And well… being a lesbian is just part of who I am.