Coming Out Christian • P.O. Box 50531 • Nashville, TN • 37205
Hello! If you need to talk, I invite you to elaborate. There are plenty of loving people here who can help you through whatever you’re dealing with.
I just came across this website and I am looking for some help. I am 22 years old and I am a lesbian. My father is an evangelical pastor and my entire family is extremely religious. At the age of 17 I was somewhat “outed” by my parents, and they made it very clear to me that homosexuality is something that neither God, nor they will accept. I agreed to undergo christian counseling in order to help “change”, but I found myself increasingly depressed and confused. At 20 I agreed to go away for a year to a program in which I could hear from God and help break free of homosexuality. I completed a full year in this program, but it has become extremely clear to me that I simply can’t change who I am. My relationship with my parents is very amiable right now, based on the fact that they believe I have changed. I no longer believe that homosexuality is a sin because I have prayed, read the scripture and done enough contextual research to know so. However my parents have made it so abundantly clear that they believe homosexuality is wrong according to the Bible. I love my parents soooo much, and I know they love me equally as much. So my question is this: If I no longer want to live a lie, how do I approach my parents about it? How do I express to them what I know to be true now about homosexuality in the Bible? How do I show them that I am not choosing to live in sin? I don’t want my parents to think that I’m choosing to walk away from the faith in favor of homosexuality, I’m just not sure how to show them. Are there and books I could give them to read, or sermons they could watch that might help? Any info or help would really be appreciated.
Thank you so much for writing. My heart goes out to you as I read your post. Wow… I would say that you’ve given it an honest attempt. Counseling, then an entire year of reparative therapy—that’s quite a bit of soul-searching you did. My first thought is that your parents MUST know how hard you’ve tried to please them, and how honest your attempts at “curing” your sexuality have been! Hopefully they can have open heart and minds, and a compassionate attitude toward you if you decide to approach them. I’ll list a few of my favorite books and DVD’s that may be helpful:
Stranger at the Gate: To Be Gay and Christian in America
If anyone else has any recommendations for resources, please comment!
Krista, if you need to talk more, please feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I admire your courage. You have found a safe place here. I hope you’ll come back and get to know everyone! I am praying for you as you contemplate where to go from here. God bless you!!
Mandy – are you and Josha all right? We miss hearing from you both, but hope you’re enjoying your summer!
Hi, Erin! Thanks for checking in. I’m doing fine, and I hope Josha is as well. I’ve dropped the ball on my posts lately… hoping to pick it back up this weekend! I’m enjoying my summer immensely, and I hope you are too! Hugs!
Don’t let me interrupt your fun – glad you are having a wonderful summer. You deserve it! Just worried about you bothe in a motherly fashion
Josha – in the It’s a Small World category of news items, today I met a woman here in Tucson who knows you. Her name is Jeanne and she is a hat and shoe maker. She asked me to say hello for her!
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Loves: coffee, documentaries, music, good conversations, Macs, and asking hard questions.
Interested in: theology, philosophy, LGBT rights, bridging the gap between the Church and the LGBT community.
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