Homophobic Homosexuals: Do it for Them

People despise in others what they hate in themselves. This is especially true for Christians struggling with homosexuality. And although it’s certainly not true in every case, so many homophobic people end up being exposed as gay people themselves! Why is this? Why the secrecy? Why the double life and the double standards? It’s because as a whole, the Church has taught its people to loathe homosexuals. They make false claims about the “gay agenda” (if there is such a thing, let me know…because I’ve been missing out on the meetings). They also convince people that it is so perverted, so filthy, so unspeakable… that it is a subject unworthy of open discussion.

I’ve experienced this unbelievable phenomenon in my own life. The one who speaks anti-homosexual rhetoric in public is the one who sends me private text messages, telling me how hot they find someone (of the same sex). The one who preaches against the horrors of the gay lifestyle is caught the next week with their gay lover. The one who rants about how homosexuality is unnatural is the same girl who passionately kissed me 10 years ago. Can we see a pattern here?!

Confession time: It’s very difficult for me to not allow anger to consume me. However, I must remember that there was a time when I, myself, was so uncomfortable with my own sexuality that I would have done anything to deny it. Pointing out the sexuality of another takes the spotlight off of their own. If they quote enough Scripture and hold enough picket signs, then perhaps no one will notice that they are questioning their own sexuality.

And guess what? These people are hurting. They’ve been told what to believe, but their experiences teach them something else. They have questions. They have stories. They have a lot of self-hate… and they are silenced. They are silenced by the people they trust and by the church they love. So rather than confront their questions, they attempt to fit in by any means necessary. This could mean hypocrisy. This could mean judging others. But most significantly, it means a lot of hurting individuals.

It’s not just the out and proud LGBT community that is being hurt by the Church. It is the people just like the ones I’ve mentioned, who are sitting in congregations across the world every single week… and they hate themselves. They hate themselves because they’ve been told to.

I ask you… isn’t there a better way? Let’s encourage conversation and discussion within the Church walls.

Let’s do it for them.

8 responses to “Homophobic Homosexuals: Do it for Them

  1. Great post. The problem is, some religious institutions see you as the devil for being comfortable about what they perceive to be a sin.

    • This is a problem, and I’m grateful that Jesus understands and I like to use his response and teaching during these times.

      When Jesus was being accused of being “demon-possessed” or of false teachings, Jesus said, “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.” That is an excellent teaching!! Stop judging the outside and start looking at the heart or the intent….I believe that is what he is saying.

      I think that some people who have been taught the “traditional” teachings on homosexuality, they are judging on mere appearances and not taking time to look at an individual’s heart or intent. But, I have to be careful that I don’t do the same thing about Christian’s who hold the “traditional” teachings/interpretations as truth….I find myself judging them on mere appearances and I am learning to pray during those times. This conflict can be so hard because it does hit our core in a painful way….perhaps that is the Satan element in all this. Perhaps that is where we need to say, “Satan, get behind me!” (In regards to the pain and self-hate).

  2. Sure, same-sex intercourse is mentioned in the Bible. But I would say it’s certainly up for debate whether or not the Bible condemns loving, monogamous same-sex relationships as they exist today.

  3. As I work through the issues of coming out with family and long-time friends, I am realizing that the most important and powerful thing I can do is to first listen to them, and then respond with honest and frank conversation about what I am going through and what I think now in relation to what I thought before I came to the conclusion that I am a lesbian. I try to answer questions as best I can, admit when I do not have an answer that wraps everything up nicely with a bow, and assure them and myself that the best I can do is continue to set all this before the Lord and commit to follow his lead.

    If they are willing to listen, I continue to communicate that I have also concluded that the Church needs to take a more nuanced approach to homosexuality. To understand that the black and white analysis that leads to condemnation of entire human beings for an aspect of their identity that is as natural to them as heterosexuality is to heterosexuals has done nothing to further the Kingdom of God. People who are instructed and believe they are condemned by God because they are not attracted to the opposite sex see no reason to hope in that God and a logical reason to reject him. People who are instructed and believe that God loves them and created them, just as they are, have every reason to hope in God and to devote themselves to walking with that God and allowing him to transform every part of their life into something that glorifies him. Even their sexuality.

    The more I learn about “gay culture”, the stronger this message hits home. There is nothing new under the sun, and nothing special about gay people that makes them any better or worse than heterosexual people. Gay or straight, we need God to fill the gaping hole in our hearts, not another person or another lover, and we need to acknowledge him as God. And that is what Romans 1 is about.

  4. Pingback: Step Into My Closet and Meet My Skeletons | Coming Out Christian

  5. Pingback: Irks and Perks of 2013 | Coming Out Christian

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